Embarrassingly, I got scammed too...still struggling with feelings of hoping it was "real" :-(
  • This is (still) hard for me to "say/admit" - but, by now, I believe I  might be scammed too and am slowly working my way out of "denial"..

    2 months ago, I got a Facebook message from handsome male  named Douglas John from Glasgow - British/American citizen (diseased Mother British, (estranged Father American, (diseased) uncle was his Father-figure and passed on contracting business), 48 yrs. old, contractor/oil platform. I live in the US, he told me he is on his "last contract" in Nigeria for 6 weeks before he retires - I told him early on that my status on Facebook shows "married" - He said he respected that but is still "interested in me"  - the way he phrased emails really intrigued me so after1.5 weeks of "chatting on Facebook", we exchanged cell phone #s.  We got along VERY well right off on phone and chat - he told me I am a wonderful woman and as a successful man, most ladies were just out for his money and that he "trusts me completely" (I am honest and upright and did never lie to him) and that he truly loved me and everything he ever tells me he truly "feels inside" etc. His plan was for us to live in his duplex in Florida and - he said, he worked hard for the past 12 yrs. as a contractor to be able to retire by 50 and "settle down with a wonderful lady like me" - he mentioned we would have enough money to live comfortably and I would not have to work if I didn't want to.


    Once in Nigeria, he said he lived in an "810$/night safe-guarded compound resort with few foreigners" and as an independent contractor, he had to pay for everything in Nigeria himself... all was good for 2 weeks UNTIL he let me know that he got robbed in daylight on the way to the pharmacy (he did clearly have a cold on the phone) and he filed a police report - they took $1,600 in cash and 2 credit cards! He told me his account manager at HSBC Bank helped him get the credit cards "locked" BUT they will mail him new cards and that takes 2.5 weeks from England to Nigeria!  He had NO cash available and the hotel manager (Runsewe James) expected him to pay for the hotel upfront - story sounded possible in a country like that!  So, helpful I am plus really in love I was by then too and wired money.  Things were still good and he was a wonderful man with a beautiful way of "expressing himself" - in fact, he said "we think/reason alike" - we actually did - he made me feel as ALIVE like no one else!!  He got sick from the African food and sounded ill! I cannot remember if he asked for money or I offered  after he told me he had a "chef" before who cooked European food!  I didn't think peculiar of it, as he never had financial troubles .. After the robbery, he got "scared" so he hired an "escort" -  it made sense to be safe on his way to his work site... I wired money until the new credit cards arrived!  All was well and his credit cards arrived - he told me one evening he was going to work EARLY to figure out exactly what money he owed me and he will pay me all back   I was unable to get a hold of him all day next day and in the evening, I called, and a Dr. Dorcas Chika (at the Adebisi Private Hospital near Epe - is there such a place? never found it)  answered his phone and said he had me saved as "wife" and that's how she knew it was someone very close to him. Douglas was in terrible car accident 6 AM and that his escort Adedeji Kola was killed on the way to hospital but Douglas barely "survived" with lung injuries in a coma! :-( For the next 3-4 days I was unable to talk to him and the few times, I was able to reach Dr. Dorcas on Douglas's cell phone#, she was out of time "trying to keep him alive for me" - She started to email me asking me " who would be responsible for hospital bill?" as no one knows Douglas's pin # but him and he's in the coma! I referred to the account manager in Douglas cell phone - she called but could not reach him ... slowly but surely, Douglas woke out of his coma and I was talking to him - it took at least a week until Dr. Dorcas would let him keep his cell phone.  He got "better and better" and I was happy as I believed these "occurrences" were just a bit MUCH bad luck for 1 person.  The account manager had "mother with cancer" and no one could locate him at work... douglas was devastated about this and told me his account manager is the ONLY person who knows his PIN# and now  he doesn't know what to do :-(  I paid more money for his "corrective surgery" and then, ended up giving him more money as he told me he cannot digest any of the African food in the hospital, it makes him so sick and Dr. Dorcas confirmed that "Mr. Douglas is the type of man who is not used to eat "poor man's food" and he gets sick with African food"!  I so wanted to make Douglas well enough for him to be able to fly to Glasgow, get his money out and  meet me in Florida where our future would start, so I paid him more money even though I didn't have it!

    Last Wednesday, I told Douglas I am NO longer able to send him money - my husband found out about me and him and I cannot jeopardize my current safety" Douglas cried and said he "understands" and  thanked me for "all I did for him" and then, I cried and begged him to "not leave me alone" and he told me to "remember one thing always IF he does not survive the next 2 weeks":  EVERYTHING he told me was TRUE and that he loves me till the last breath he takes"! Since then, his phone is switched off  and I received 2 emails from Dr. Dorcas, "blaming me for "having caused Douglas to fall into a half alive half dead coma state again and stressing him too much about the "husband thing" Yesterday, she emailed that he does not respond to treatment and she paid for 3 days of chef food herself as NO one helps him- he doesn't eat the food and all she can do for him now is to "pray for him to stay alive" and she hopes her "efforts will not be in vain"!  I told her that IV food would also keep him alive... she never responded!

    After being told the above I am torn between sadness about all dreams being "shattered/scammed" OR  if this is TRUE and Douglas is dying and no one helps him??? Or, do they JUST tug on my compassionate side to make me pay more? I struggle emotionally as I by now LOVE whoever is behind Douglas John (sounds ridiculous but true)-am I in "denial" and don't want to see he "played me"?  When I voiced "subtle doubt" to Douglas and offered to call the British Embassy, he sadly said  "sweetheart, they will never believe our story to be true and will not help us"!!   Any suggestions of "unloving him" even if it was a scammer?! Thanks, also for not laughing at me ... am usually a person who "thinks clearly" but I guess I got hooked by his charms?!

  • Unfortunately you are a scam victim and you do have to come to terms with that.

    When I read your story alarm bells rang straight away , but you were taken in by Douglas because to quote you he made you feel alive like no one else.Douglas does not exist, everything about him is a lie , he is actually a Nigerian in an internet cafe and the only money he has is what you sent him.

    I could tear apart this story so easily the lies stand out but you were blinded by your emotions which is how scammers work to groom you to enable them to steal from you.

    There is no Adebisi hospital no Doctor Dorcas, no accident, no coma  it is ALL lies. Non Nigerians working in Nigeria are employed by large companies there are no individual contractors. 
    If British citizens abroad are in difficulties the British Embassy is there to assist them, Douglas could not contact them because he is a liar. 

    You said Douglas inherited a contracting company in the UK so where were the company workers when he needed them? I could go on and on about all the discrepancies in this sad story.

    If you are so unhappy in your marriage then get out, if not try working things out with your husband whatever you do stop all contact with Douglas for he is nothing but a figment of your imagination.
    All the best to you.
  • Unfortunately, Alethia is absolutely right - this is a classic scam and I have to tell you that every aspect of this story has been heard countless times on this forum. These scam artists all use the same basic techniques and stories to hook their victims. I am sorry this happened to you, but please try to accept it was all a scam, change your contact details, and move on.
  • Thank you, Alethia and Ella for your common sense answers -I normally read people well and was told I have "common sense" in the past ... it clearly "flew out the window for the past 2 months" - I got so wrapped up emotionally with this "Douglas" and the dreams of an "easy life" he put into my head! I was blinded like you rightfully said, Alethia.  And, you are right: Am married for over 10 yrs, and, there is a lot of "miscommunication/lack of communication" between my husband and I - I got badly depressed to the point where I did not want to go anywhere for quite a few months, especially on the weekends when we were off work- his "reaction" was even "less communication" and him resolving my inactivity which frustrated him by him watching more TV ... I wish we both would have "talked about it" BEFORE I would have to have "fallen for a scammer" to get all the  "attention/affection and "interaction" I so craved and missed IN my marriage:-( I made attempts but could not "reach him"...am currently having to work quite hard to regain control of the financial hardship I caused ... after my husband and I get our "heads above water financially", we will have to address serious marriage issues so I won't have to keep falling into severe depression ... I wonder whether "severe depression" can cause one to make "emotionally based bad judgments like mine"?? Well, logically looking at it, like many other women, I was lonely, sad, depressed and frustrated i.e. "a vulnerable victim" for scams :-( Thank you for your "well wishes", Alethia and Ella - I will eventually get over this in time - I have no hate towards Douglas even though he hurt me emotionally and financially - I cannot hate him as I now recall (back then, it didn't register with me "through my tears" that he cried on the last phone call and said "he is sorry for what he put me through and his feelings for me are real"- it sounded so sincere!  I don't have a mindset like that so I won't grasp how someone can on one one hand be so lovely, charming and mild-mannered and at the same time just "play on someone's emotions only for money"??! Am sad and sorry that young men in Nigeria do  revert to making criminal job choices to get "quick money and/or a better life for themselves and their families" and in the process hurt others so badly! Something went wrong in their lives too that they feel they have no other "legitimate options" to make it, right??  

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