Bad idea to go to Pakistan? Safety in Pakistan
  • Please be careful,not just travelling to Lahore alone but because of the following.

    1. Pakistan is a very conservative country and it is unusual for Pakistani men to marry foreign non Muslim women. Although it is allowed in Islam for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman. It is unusual for Pakistani men to marry foreign women in Pakistan.

    2. Pakistani's live with their extended family of parents, siblings, children and grandparents in the same house. Even a grown man will not go against his family, so does the family know about you? Do they accept you?

    3. If this man is a senior police officer, its highly likely he is married. In Pakistan men can legally marry four wives. A Muslim is not supposed to have sexual intercourse until they marry,so your man may want to marry you just to sleep with you. 

    4. You are going to a country where you cannot understand the language ,where an Imam can be bought in at a few minutes notice to perform a Nikah, (wedding) which is conducted in Urdu and you may not even be given a marriage certificate.

    5. If you marry, your husband may try to make you become a Muslim and if you do change religion your life will completely change. You cannot be forced to change your religion but believe me it happens.

    You need to think a lot more before you embark on a trip to Pakistan and marriage.

    By the way in the UK the term "Paki" is considered to be derogatory and racist.

  • Oh I'm so sorry he calls himself paki , I didn't know, thank you for your advise and wisdom. I really appreciate it.

    Sincerely ,
  • If you are going to just visit that place. then it is fine. But not for living.
    as you know right now what's going on in India & Pakistan, on political issues all are messing with each other. so keep this in you mind & take decision.
  • Alethia why are you scaring people i think you probably had a very nasty experience with the country. Im guessing a normal person or a happily married women forced into wearing a hijab by her husband. If this chick was to dress up like you then yes she is safe. But if she lifts up her skirt then yeah you may feel a pinch or two.

    Lady Pakistan is a great place, but do me a favour stick with your own kind for marriage, this dude will ruin your life trust me its not worth it.  

  • Hi 78hheather. How long have you been communicating with this man? Do you speak over the phone or is it just messages on Fb. Please be very careful. You will meet him before arranging to marry wont you? Please dont take this wrong as I myself is in a happy relationship and we met through Facebook. We met this year after hours and hours of skyping for months and months. I also had a friend lucky living close to where I met him. I am so glad I took the chance. I would still advise to be careful. I know nothing about pakistan. Good luck
  • Alenthia did you ever been here in Pakistan?
    Or you ever talked to those who did visit Pakistan?
    I am Pakistani and I see there are lot of foreign people here in Lahore, Islamabad and some other cities in shopping mall, markets, restaurants and also walking on roadsides so now tell me why they are here...going at public places....walking on roadsides ?
    Yes to defend my own country is my right but I am telling here true......
  • I have said on this forum that I have been to Pakistan. As an immigration lawyer I have had many Pakistani clients. In my company there are British Pakistani employees and I have Pakistani friends, so I am not biased against Pakistan. You simply need to take off your rose tinted glasses.

    Sammyboi you made me laugh, no one has forced me into wearing a hijab !

    This is what happens in Pakistan, they stone innocent women to death and no one stops them, not even the police

  • Hi all. I am asian male (Japanese, to be exact) and speak English fluently. I would love to travel to Pakistan. I have read this threads and if you are american or euro white, you need to be extra cautious, i get that. but what about a Japanese guy ? would it be still dangerous ? thanks !
  • Apparently there is a Japanese community of about a thousand  expatriate people living in Pakistan.There is a Japanese school in Karachi attached to the Consulate General of Japan and a Japanese language centre in Lahore.

    According to Pakistan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs more than 20,000 Japanese tourists visited Pakistan between 2007 and 2008, They came in groups mostly to see the ancient Buddhist sites. Unfortunately there were no Japanese tourist figures after 2008 because most of the Buddhist sites are in very dangerous areas of Pakistan so many governments have advised against travel to these places.
    The region known as Pakistan once had a large Buddhist population and many structures in antiquity. 

    It seems if you stick to the travel guidelines and stay safe you will be fine in Pakistan.

    Just a little bit of random information Akira Yamamura the former General Manager of Mitsubishi Pakistan was awarded the Sitara - e - Pakistan  (Star of Pakistan) a very high civilian award given by the government of Pakistan,in recognition of promoting,economic social and welfare activities in Pakistan. Quite an honour.
  • If Pakistan follow Islamic rules then there wouldn't be any issue like Alethia told about stoned death of female.....Islamic rules are very simple to follow but if you go against Islam then you will find most worst punishment.............if you are a Muslim then.......and if you are not a Muslim then Islamic rules are not implemented on you........

    but here we are discussing on the issue of traveling Pakistan.
    as I told before that yes some areas are suffering from terrorism but now the situation of Pakistan is going better than don't need to get worry and yes if you avoid bullying people of Pakistan then nothing will be happened with foreigner tourists as all nations have their respect.
  • So ayazahmed its OK then to stone an innocent woman to death? This is not Islam this is Pakistani culture, where are "honour killings" mentioned in the Koran or Hadith. You are also incorrect that Islamic rules are not implemented on non Muslims. If a country has Sharia Law (Islamic Law) as its main legal system then it most definitely affects non Muslims. Pakistan supposedly has a secular legal systems but Sharia Law is regularly applied. Where else are over a thousand women murdered each year in the name of hour and families enslaved ?

    As for your statement that the situation in Pakistan going better , it is utter nonsense.In my opinion and that of more knowledgeable people and organisations Pakistan is a dangerous, backward, corrupt country. Human rights are non existent, terrorism and feudal lords rule. Poverty and religious fanaticism abound.

  • alethia first of all I would like to say you about Islamic laws yes Islamic laws implemented on non Muslims too if in that country people follow Islam....but in Pakistan Islamic laws are not implemented even on Muslims so......because no one here in wants to follow Islamic law so not implemented on non Muslims.
    Now I would like to ask you if she was married with that person then why they went to court with pregnancy...while if couple get marry then can collect their certificate within few days.
    And if they went to the court to get marry after getting pregnant then it means they had sex before then according to the Islamic law couple should be punished with hunter....but the families having respects if face these kind of things what their children done they must get hyper and do some thing like that.
  • Ayazahmed you have obviously not read the story of this heinous crime . The pregnant victim Farzana Parveen was legally married but to a man unacceptable to her family, they wanted her to marry her cousin.

    There is no reason at all that is acceptable to kill someone because their family is "hyper" as you put it.
    This crime demonstrates clearly how backward Pakistan is and how badly women are treated.

    According to a Pew survey 83% of Pakistanis support stonings. Sharia Law is used often in Pakistan divorce cases, family and criminal matters

    The Council of Islamic Ideology who advise the Pakistani government and parliament believe child marriage should be legal and that any law banning child marriage is un-Islamic. 

    I found the following after researching Sharia Law in Pakistan. The Pakistan constitution allows for the use of Sharia law.
    Until 1978 Islamic law was largely restricted to personal status issues. Zia Ul Haq introduced Sharia courts and made far reaching changes in the criminal justice system. Articles 203a to 203j of the constitution establish a Sharia court with the power to judge any law or government actions to be against Islam, and to review court cases for adherence to Islamic law. The penal code includes elements of Sharia. Under article 5, section 2 of the Ordinance No. VII of 1979, whoever is guilty of zina, "if he or she is a mushan, be stoned to death at a public place; or if he or she is not a mushan, be punished, at a public place, with whipping numbering one hundred stripes".Under a 2006 law, rape cases can be heard under civil as well as Islamic law.

  • thanks alethia

    I would also like to hear from people who actually live there like Lahore. would I look ... say.. really stand out ? I heard Pakistani are really nice to foreigners
  • well,,.., after spending my precious time (tomorrow is my second paper) on viewing all of your comments and views about visiting Pakistan, I really needed to add my views too. Because there are some very big misconceptions in the mind of you people (including Pakistanis that commented here).
    I am Haseeb and I belong to Khushab but nowadays I am in Lahore for my internship in Network Engineering. I had some strong relation with my Turkish friends that started about two years ago on facebook and on September last year, 6 Turkish friends visited Pakistan for meeting me live as well as touring Pakistan. So, I had experience in this visiting topic that most of you guys don’t have. In the end of my conversation I will write about their (my Turkish friends) visit that how we enjoyed their 5 days trip.

    The following are some questions that most of people were asking here as well as they were concerned about. So, I provided a little bit of detail on every topic. I will describe more after end of my papers.

    1: Before visiting you should have strong relationship with that person who is escorting you in Pakistan. Relationship depends on you whether a family relation or not because there are some case in which a Pakistani is living in foreign (studying, working) and is inviting you as a classmate or colleague. (You can hire guides or escort too if you don’t have any native person, but there are some precautions that must be highlighted in such cases)

    2: Most of people here are asking to visit only Lahore or Islamabad but you should know that about 30-35 percent of Pakistan can be visited by Pakistanis or foreigners without much safety concerns. (Remember these are not just my views, this is my experience I will explain it later)

    3: I laughed on some comments that were regarded to race, that they are white American or fairy white so they will be noticed in public blah blah. Listen to me, just American or European or I can say western people or not the only people on earth that are fairy white in color. Even in Pakistan there are large numbers of people that are like white people or fairy in color. Even 3-4 of my colleagues are white in nature and if you meet them you cannot recognize them that they are Pakistani not western. May be you people that are living in America or England etc may have meet Pakistanis there that look familiar to you  in color or appearances. So, there is no way that you only will be noticed unique here in Pakistan.

    4: There are some girls that were asking if they should visit Pakistan to meet their boyfriend for marriage or for just visiting him. Now in this point you should be very sensitive before visiting. I would say that not only for Pakistan but even if your boyfriend is American, English, Australian or wherever he belongs to, you should never visit him only based upon your social, phonic or skype friendship. First you should have family relations or at least your and his parents should know about your friendship and they must be satisfied by both of you and parents had met each other live or on internet. Then you should go to your boyfriend and marriage proposal should be done after at least 2-3 visit of his home at meeting his family members not just directly on your first visit.

      5: People that are concerned about dress, covering their body or hijaab etc. There are no such measurements to be done by foreigners to visit Pakistan. Come on: Pakistan is now a modern country regarding to clothing. Even the Pakistani girls dress jeans, tees, high heels, skirts etc. So, if Pakistani girls do not concern about that then why should you. But yes some foreigners here do wear kameez shalwar, dopata (not hijaab) when they visit here, this doesn’t mean that they were forced to wear it. They only wear it to have some involvement in Pakistani culture and to display their pics etc to their homeland friends. Believe me you should never be forced to change your dressing if you visit here it only depends on you. Some of you were also saying that they would have difficulty by language as Urdu is national language. I would say that it is also not to be concerned. Pakistanis use more English in their language as compared to Urdu. You can google it “The ranking of Pakistan about English-speaking population is 18th  / 133 countries.

    6: Now the point on which I got angry by viewing a comment of a stupid person. She says that “There are frequent reports of criminality, lawlessness and public disorder here in Pakistan, and she relates some reports of 2008,09,10 etc that shows us the criminality activities. I ask her that if she had searched about the countries with highest crime rates in 2014-2013 ? The top country with the highest crime rate 2014 is United States, 2nd is England, 3rd is Germany and 10th is India. Pakistan is not in top 10 countries with highest crime rates (you can google it if you don’t believe me). So, people visit USA instead that it is number 1 country with highest crime rates in the world as do people visit England, France, Canada, Russia. These are all in the top 10 crime country list. I think my point is cleared here.

  • 7: Alethia, what you commented on may 26! I totally disagree with you and I can match with you one on one when I will be free and I will show you that you are wrong with all of your points that you commented on may26. Your first point in which you said   “ It is unusual for Pakistani men to marry foreign non Muslim women.” Yes it is unusual but it is not restricted. You don’t watch news? Many star people and celebrities of Pakistan are married to foreign non Muslim-Muslim persons. By doing this are those people executed or killed? No they are living their own life and Pakistani media show them entertainingly because it is unique for Pakistanis and we feel good knowing that this is happening and nowadays it is not rare i.e marriage of Pakistani to foreign lady.

    Your second point “Pakistani's live with their extended family of parents, siblings, children and grandparents in the same house “ first of all is it a bad idea to you about living with family? My family is living in Jauharabad while my grand parents are in Faisalabad. Why? Because my dad’s job is in Jauharabad. You think that every Pakistani carry on their siblings, grand parents wherever they go? No it is not happening and if it ever happened then it is not bad thing to be mentioned as you mentioned in your comment.

    Your Third point “In Pakistan men can legally marry four wives.” Why are you against Pakistan Alethia? It is not in Pakistan, it is in Islam that man can marry up to four wives. This shows that he only “can” marry four, it is not “must” that he had to marry four women in his life. This word “can” had a long long details that why it is allowed in Islam. I don’t think that even 1% of Pakistanis had married four women. Have you ever in your life met any Muslim that had married four wives? Have you? So, this is just a statement that you had highlighted so very much. (visit this page ( ) if you had more concerns about marrying more than one women)

    Your Forth point “and you may not even be given a marriage certificate.” Are you marrying or you just having a dinner that you may not be given a certificate!! Again read your forth comment completely hahaha. You are saying that you can be married in Pakistan without knowing that you are getting married. Like in Pakistan, you slept in night and when you woke up in morning you were married! When any foreign is married in Pakistan then marriage will not be in Urdu language. It will be in English and she/he will be fully taught that what is going on and of course you should be given a marriage certificate that would be in English, you stupid.

    Your Fifth point “your husband may try to make you become a Muslim”. This is never going to be happening. No man will force any women to change her religion after their marriage. If there is going to be any such concern then it is fulfilled before marriage that either wife would had to change her religion or not. It depends on her that if she want to change it or not. Your life will not be completely change if you don’t change your religion or if husband and wife belongs to different religions. If after marriage you are forced to change your religion than you had not fulfilled my point 4 that I mentioned earlier that before marriage you should have strong relationship with the native family in which you are going to be married.

    8: Chinese-Japanese who are trying to visit.  We Pakistanis have a lot of respect to our Chinese and Japanese brothers; this respect is more than any other Western or African countrymen. You know the reason; you people are true friend of Pakistan. Even we don’t have Political issues with each other. There are large amount of Chinese people living in Pakistan. So, you may not have any issues traveling to Pakistan. You can visit Pakistani Embassies on your areas they can refer you to many Chinese-Japanese residential in Pakistan. So, you contact them if you like to or some other way as you wish.

    9: Reports of USA, UK, Australian, Canadian governments that Pakistan is not reliable to be visited by foreigners. I do think that these reports are based on situations going on whole Pakistan, but as I mentioned earlier that 30-35 % of Pakistan is free of terrorism and it can be visited easily. So, these reports are not to be concerned. About 20-22 days earlier my university friend invited his Germany college friends to Pakistan and they spent two whole days in city Multan. As Multan is known as city of Tombs, therefore the people who love ancient civilization do always visit it.

    Even my native friends and Turkish friends also spent only 18 hours of our visit in Lahore that is what I am trying to say that only Lahore and Islamabad is not safe places in Pakistan there are many more also that can be visited easily.
  • That is all that I wanted to comment on this topic and I know I had wasted my 2 hours on writing this topic instead I should be studying. After my papers (about 7-8 days later) I will fully describe the visit of my Turkish friends in Pakistan and all those places we visited and enjoyed. Instead of spending their whole 5 days of tour in Lahore, we only spent 18 hours and then we departed to my home village “Soon Valley”.

    You should also visit this, an American guy had describe his short visit of Lahore you can find a lot of more page like this on google, in which different foreigners had described there exp on visiting Pakistan.

     I will not be available on this page for some days but if you think that i'm wrong on some point or if you needed any queries than you can contact me on facebook, this is my profile page
  • If you are going as guest to a family or friend you will not have any problem, because you will be looked after very well trust me. Hospitality is the thing which paksitanis people havent forgotten yet. Although CIA is well determined to eradicate it from people minds by playing these spies episodes there. Even if you are American but if you are somebody's guest you shouldn't have any problem if you play the game casual. Dress wise will recommend to use the local dress you will feel comfortable in that, although in urban areas girls with jeans are common these days. Wouldn't recommend to roam around alone in strange areas, which you wouldn't do even in New york or London. Try to hang out with your host or host family even if you are going to tribal areas, don't try to engage with strangers, although i am not saying that by engaging with strangers you will certainly get any harm but its the sensible thing to do, what you will do anywhere in the world. I can see some people comments above about KPK, but trust me you will find it the safest place in there. The bad things there happen to those unfortunate people who are somehow stakeholders in these things-note most of the time. Pollution and chaos in urban areas you will come across often, but Islamabad is a fair game and pretty organise. In simple words------Try to visit a host family and you will be able to enjoy the most of it. But if you are trying to get a 100% reassurance from this forum that nothing will happen then don't bother to go there because anything could happens to any body anywhere in the world.  
  • So safe in Pakistan that you can be attacked at the airport. A blood bath ensued when Karachi airport was attacked on Sunday.

  • Hello my name is ali i am resident of faisalabad.i am in london(uk)for last 5 year.My wife is European nationality white and blond and its 2 years now of our married and now we planned to go to Pakistan next month.Even my mother in law we were very happy but day before yesterday incident that happened in Karachi airport we are quite scared even i am more worried.Even i have my town in Faisalabad full of relatives and friends my family said its no need to worry.Plz suggest me what should i do.My parents wanna see her and my wife want to see them we waited so long time.I spend my whole life in faisalabad.
    Attention for ALETHIA
  • I find it odd that your parents did not attend your wedding. You are obviously seeking to make your home in the UK , so why can't your family apply for a visit visa to come to the UK?

    Pakistan is not a safe place, terrorism, sectarian violence, and kidnapping abound. the quarter of a million visitors to Pakistan from the UK each year are made up mostly of UK residents returning home to see family and friends. Which is what you would be doing. Your wife would be very safe with your family no doubt they would treasure her.

    This is a very different scenario to someone travelling alone or going to meet a man they have never met.

    The journey is long and I going via Kharachi is a better option than Islamabad and definitely not Quetta. If I were your wife I would also dress in Salwar Khamis which is comfortable and less conspicuous
    It is your decision to go and if I were in your shoes I would also want to go. So good luck and take care of your wife.
  • Thanks very much for good suggestion and what do you think about lahore airport.
  • Aliali, I think all airports in Pakistan have security problems, so take care wherever you go.
  • I'm white, American national from Pakistani descent residing in Lahore for the last 3 years in cantt. I've been robbed twice not far from a police station at gun point in cantt, which by the way is heavily patrolled by the armed forces and to enter cantt you have to pass through checkpoints. In my honest opinion Pakistanis are very passionate about their country and will usually exaggerate how safe it is. While I've seen a couple of foreigners, they are not a usual spectacle. Crime is pretty high, there is a severe power crisis (12-16 hours of loadshedding). Foreigners are at a pretty good risk of being kidnapped and recovery rate for kidnapped victims is grim. An American was kidnapped in Lahore and still remains a hostage, the previous prime ministers son was kidnapped from Multan and still a hostage... list goes on. As far as you ladies wanting to fall in love with Pakistani men and then coming here to visit them.. just don't, you'll regret it. If someone is really adamant on travelling here I would advise visiting only certain parts of Lahore (DHA, Cantt, Gulberg) or certain parts of Islamabad (F sectors).Expect horrible traffic with motorcyclists that are basically homing missiles waiting to hit your vehicle and drivers who never held a valid liscene and are no better then chimps behind the wheel. You can also expect people staring at you which gets pretty annoying and pan handlers who tend to be a major pain in the tush. Generally people here are "okay" but not that friendly or helpful.

    Summary I would not advise traveling here unless you've got some family living here and even then I would advise not visiting. If you are adamant on visiting stick to Lahore and Islamabad. Avoid all of KPK, FATA, Sindh and Baluchistan unless you've got no value for your life and would enjoy being kidnapped and tortured or worse. If you have to travel to Sindh, I would only recommend Karachi and that to just the posh areas.

    P.S. even though rape is being highlighted in India a lot due to some recent cases, Pakistan has a very high rate of rape and sexual assault cases. Sexual assault by your spouse, boyfriends is also very common here. And as far as Lahores few posh area goes you can wear whatever you want with the only exception being bathing suits. You don't require a hijjab and people here aren't religious... just hypocrites. Locals wear all kinds of skimpy dress but confined to certain areas.
  • hi i am a female and im white. My boyfriend is from pakistan and i know his family as they live in england. he wants to go pakistan next summer to visit rest of his family and he want to take me with him however im very scared to go there in terms of my you think it is safe enough for me to go there. please help me 
  • To Monika123 
    Oh let me know if you do come back
    Alive. I almost go there but I am glad that I didn't go. Because I guess I has been reading a lot of the news in Pakistan. One day give time for yourself to read daily news like Pakistan Dawn. And u will see what's going on daily. And most places are not so safe anymore. If u planing to go anywhere with your boyfriend I rather have for you to go to hawaii instead because then you would enjoys yourself more. In Pakistan you can't be holding and kissing him in public. You might be arrested....and if his family don't accept you then they might do honor killing. So if I were you I would not go there. Even if you have a policeman with you. They killed so many policeman. It's so not funny but do your research before you go. It's better safe than sorry. And if you do go good luck on your trips. I do hope you will not get kidnap or bad things happen to you.
  • the most thing im scared about is not his family or him his family loves me everything seems perfect his christian as well its just the people over there im svared about if they will see a white woman 
  • To Monika123.....
    But go read more about it on Pakistan
    Dawn. Read daily about before you go.
    His family might be nice but you never know about other people. But is up to you it's your choice. And even if I told you not to go there. If you really want to go eventually you will go there anyway. I mean maybe when you go maybe nothing
    will happen. Some people might be lucky and nothing will happen to them. And of course if you don't go then it's will makes u wonder. So basically it's your decision nobody can really decided for you but yourself. I wishes nothing to you but good lucks and will prays that you will come back safely. Have a fun and safe trips...Aloha!
  • Monika123, where in Pakistan does your boyfriend's family live? Knowing exactly where you are travelling to will allow us to give you more detailed advice...
  • thank you osamy i will definitly find out more about it before i make a decision and that is right maybe his family is ok but the people over there may be not. 
    ella his family lives in karachi 
  • Hi Monika123, as you can see from the links that Alethia has sent you, Karachi is not a safe travel destination at the moment. Staying with locals usually helps with safety matters in dangerous destinations as the family should know how best to protect you, where not to go etc. but I still don't think it's worth risking it. It sounds as if you are considering going just to meet distant relatives of your boyfriend. Let him go by himself and if things work out for you guys consider travelling there with him in the future when perhaps the situation will be less dire. What's the hurry? If you do decide to go, be very careful, and do some thorough research to ensure that you understand what the country is going through.
  • Links don't give you the approximation whether its safe to travel some where or not

    thats is just stupid , 

    I have a friend from UK living in Pakistan past 7 years and he is mugged once that's all what happened 

    he came to visit and its been 7 years he is here , he got a good job a decent place and nice friends 

    Ella JohnsonAlethia i dont which country you are from , let me see i can give you links about bizzare behaviours and extreme racist news and links . . 

  • Ayaz ahmed you have obviously not read the story of this heinous crime . The pregnant victim Farzana Parveen was legally married but to a man unacceptable to her family, they wanted her to marry her cousin.

    now what this has to do with a person who want to come Pakistan to attend a seminar or to enjoy holidays 

    i thinks i should not go to Colorado because i found this link below  


    My exposure to Pakistan was limited. I classified it as one
    of those countries that was created on religious concepts, was racist
    toward the rest of the world and wanted the Americans dead. 

    Call me ignorant, but with the way Pakistan is portrayed in the media, as a foreigner it is hard not to be deterred.

    Then, by sheer luck and forged destiny, I met a Pakistani woman and fell truly, madly and deeply in love with her.

    There was beauty resonating from deep within her and it came out in her dark, soulful eyes.

    Little did I know, that in less than a few weeks, my entire life
    would change because I was not only falling in love with a person but I
    was embracing a culture, a lifestyle and above all I was going to
    embrace a country deemed one of the most dangerous in the world.

    The first aspect of Pakistani culture I fell in love with was the food. There
    is nothing in this world that can come close to the comfort provided by
    haleem, nihari and a warm, buttery piece of naan.

    The spices and herbs used in Pakistani food are unique, authentic and
    jump-start the day reflecting Pakistan’s vibrant culture.  Not to
    mention all sinuses are completely cleared when those green chillies hit
    the back of the throat.

    You know what takes the cake?

    After hours of gruelling work I finally made my own batch of haleem and it was delicious.

    to real if fully


    those are the almost same things which which travel agents told me when going to Germany and Africa  ( Africa is a place where world goes for safaris and stuff ) 
  • I have travelled extensively around the world, living and working in the Middle East and Africa to name a few. I also have many clients in Pakistan , food and beauty of the land is unique, but for foreigners its extremely dangerous. The British FCO website and the US State Department website gives out information to protect its citizens.

  • Hi everyone,

    I'm really glad I found this thread. I'm currently trying to decide if I'm going to visit my boyfriend in Rawalpindi. We were together in the UK for 5 months, but he's had to go back to Pakistan because his visa expired. He really wants me to come and visit him, but I have to be honest and say that I am scared from what I've read about Pakistan. We do talk about getting married and having a family, but I don't feel comfortable about doing a Muslim wedding (Nikah), because I've read a lot about it, and spoken to Pakistanis, and it's my understanding that, if you do a Nikah as a non-Muslim, you are agreeing to converting to Islam just by virtue of doing the ceremony. Sorry, I've gone completely off topic here! Does anyone have any experience of Rawalpindi? Can you tell me how safe it is there?
  • I would be concerned that your boyfriend only wants to marry you so that he can have a visa to settle in the UK.
    Applying for a marriage visa is very difficult and very expensive and you need to be earning over £18600 per annum.
    As for going to Rawalpindi to marry him you should be very careful especially entering into a Nikah. Where do your family come into this? Don't they want to be a part of your wedding? 

    On top of this I would be concerned over the safety issues in Pakistan.
  • Thank you for your honesty Alethia. I am definitely concerned about entering into a Nikah. My mother is worried, which would stop me from going through with it because I don't want to cause her stress and upset. I guess my family wouldn't be involved with the wedding.

    If I'm honest with myself, I'm also concerned that he may want to marry me to get a visa. He's very loving with me, but I do wonder sometimes if maybe it's because he has an aim, and I feel like I'm not seeing things clearly with this man. I've been completely swept up, but since he suggested marrying in Pakistan, I feel very anxious.
  • As an immigration lawyer I have seen many women in your position. Your right, when you say you feel like your not seeing things clearly. It is very alluring to be in a relationship and to rush to a foreign country to marry your beloved. You need to step back and weigh things up , your mother has good reason to be worried, I would be too.

    What kind of visa did your boyfriend have?

  • To Manu

    I agree with Alethia she's know
    a lot so listens to her. 5 months of knowing someone is too short to be married and when you married you want your families to be at your wedding...not just you and his families and his friends. And if your instinct is telling you that he is only marrying you because of greencard then you know that is a bad sign. Because you know yourself your whole life. If you feel bad thing about him then for sure you are right about him. And just to let you know Some of Pakistan men aren't as nice as you think.... Some are so violence and demanding when they can't get whats they wanted so beware. And I am not saying all guys in Pakistan...but just becareful with them when you don't give them what he wants that is and they might act like that toward you. People do anything nice if they want anything like a greencard and being away from their country. Some feel that they want to helps family to send money to help their parents bc life in Pakistan is hard. So they do anything to be away from his country. So if you do love yourself then prove it to yourself that you are special and let him go by himself.
    Get to know him longer. If he love you he will wait for you.
  • Alethia, thank you. I do appreciate your experience with these issues. I very nearly made some impulsive decisions because I was so swept up with him, but then thankfully I pulled back because I didn't feel right about things. I was feeling very anxious, and felt like I was about to make a decision that would mess up the rest of my life. I've told him that I can't just rush to Pakistan and marry him and he's already acting differently towards me. He's not answered my messages. He was in the UK on a visitor's visa I think, sponsored by family members living in the UK.

    Osamy, thanks for your advice. I agree that 5 months is too short a time to know someone to get married, especially considering his situation. His family were pushing for us to get married very soon into our relationship, which made me feel very uneasy. I told him and them that I couldn't get married so soon, and then he later suggested marrying in Pakistan instead. He definitely didn't want to go back to Pakistan. I agree with what you said-- that if he truly loved me, he would wait for me.
  • Pakistan is safe place. International media is showing the wrong face of pakistan, they themselves make this country terrorist. they dont know how this country is suffering because of them. Feel safe to go there. people are really welcomung there, and they are very hospitable. 
  • Jerry, I see you commenting on many threads, but do you have personal experience in Pakistan? If not, it can be dangerous to give advice about safety in a country where there are genuine concerns.
  • I live in Pakistan and my relatives live in Lahore.Let me tell you that ut us perfectly safe in Islamabad and lahore.
    History is diverse and I assure you will enjoy meals and The people are very welcoming.Only the north is threatened by Terrorists but even the Swat Valley and the region of Hunza and skardu are Peaceful and beautiful. Unfortunately the foreign media and even our local media is showing the wrong face of Pakistan.

  • You can move to Pakistan it's a very interesting place to visit, full of historical place,
  • Pakistan is not safe tourism place. Pakistan is Islamic country there is many Terrorist lived.
  • Im mexican, i met a pakistani man online december last year, and i went to meet him in person while he was in Greece, he asked me to marry him and i said yes. We talk everyday he talked with my family about his intentions on marrying me. And now he is back in Pakistan he lives near Mirpur, im thinking on traveling to pakistan next year to get married, i already met his mother online and.his brothers and sisters. I know the basic in urdu (even to ask for help meri madad karo) also i study about islam (because im marrying a muslim is obvious i should learn, but he never forces me to nothing i do for my own). I have already travelled alone to Austria, Germany and Greece and in Mexico i have lived alone and Mexico is also dangerous and i live herw and nothing bad has happen to me thanks god!. I also know about what you can ask in a nikah, and i need a wali also i have a friend who can help me if all goes wrong. So i think i got all covered. I know pakistan is not safe, but all the important matters i have already take care of. I would like your opinion, I will go and i hope all goes fine for me oh and he doesnt want mexican visa or anything, he wants me to move there, he has job. So give me your thoughts, do you think is a good idea to go? Any other stuff i should be aware of?
  • Hi lumlu,
    It seems like you have done your research and made fairly careful preparations, which is definitely a good thing. I would warn you that Pakistan can be a difficult country to live in as a woman, particularly if you are not familiar with the culture and do not have friends to support you. I am glad to see you do have a friend there. My advice would be not to rush! You should definitely spend a bit of time in the country before making the decision to move there permanently and get married. If this man loves you he will understand and won't rush you.

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