Marriage after meeting on internet - advice please
  • Hi No wahala

    He could not have meet you in the airport as you are picked up outside after having to pay off all the officals

    There is no one but officals and people arriving allowed in arrivels ?????

    Regards

    Angeleyes

    PS I have other westerns that can confirm this!
  • This is soooo funny. First of all I understand that Nigerian men are not romantic men and a lot of woman from the states and other countries thrive off that. How can a man love someone that he never met or been around?? I am married to a Nigerian man and there are a lot of things I have learned from him about the culture ( But I met him in the States). One thing I know so well is how far some of the men will go to get there green card or get out of Nigeria, even if it mean telling a woman he love her. lol. I bet if you told him that you wanted to come and live in Nigeria with him that he would stop calling you and cut out all that love stuff. I don't understand why white woman are so gullible to fall for the hype. Also I have seen where Nigeria men play nice once they get out of Nigeria and once they get their papers they start showing there true color. The family most of the time don't see nothing of you but money and a way for them to maybe get out as well because once he leave they see as a way for them to get money and send it back home and hopefully one day divorce you and bring over his real wife and mother...etc. I am sorry to say but take your time and don't trust it.
  • I married a Nigerian man, I was a fool. He was so convincingly sincere, he really fooled me into believing he was such a man of God and that he loved me. I was married to him over 7 years. After he got his citizenship and a child from me, he became a totally different man to me. Towards the end, I started find out many things he hid from me. It was a very shocking and bitter pill to swallow. Ladies, I have learned from personal experience that Nigerian men can pretend for long periods of time. It still is very hard on me to realize that this man that I loved so deeply was only out to use me for money and citizenship, and whoever know what else he was trying to get from me. BE CAREFUL. I was very na
  • Hi,

    Thank you for letting me know. I put my marriage in God' hand. Every marriage couples will face their own problem to which some may end up with the divorce. Yes, when the divorce come to play, we are as a woman will most get the impact. What's I'm trying to say is divorce may happen to the marriage couple regardless where they are from. Marriage life is relied on how the couple educated them self to maintain their marriage to be last long. My husband will be here soon and together we will start our marriage life in Melbourne.

    Kind Regards
  • Hi everyone I'm a South African I just fell in love with this site and Your advises are so interesting just keep them coming
  • just be ware do not get involed with any one that is not in your own country and do not get involed with dating sites where these are
    there a many signs to tell you that they are not who they seam to be

    Run and do not give any money to anyone on the net or dating sites

    be advise africa is a very danagours site

    An do not use Kenya airways to travel there or from africa one of the worst airlines ive every used!
  • Hi Angeleyess,

    It has been long time that I haven't heard any news from you. Are you back in Australia?
    I'm sorry to feel that you may have bad experiences in Africa. Hope you are fine.

    Take care.

    Kind Regards

    Mandy
  • Hi Mandy

    Yes im back in oz and my husband arrive on the 23rd of december

    If I ever have to go back to nigeria I would rather slash my wrist

    The officals made the marriage day a horrable day after exstoring over 64000 niaia out of me and my husband on the first day and that was not the last to come

    The embassy here in Australia have no Idea what they are talking about as once we arrived at the court the offical said if we wanted to do it there way they would deal the wedding for as long as possible till my return here

    The place is full of currpt officals that would rob you and stab you in the back

    All I have to say of the place is to shot all the officals (including the police officers ) and start again

    Worst place on earth!

    I will be around

    Angeleyess
  • Hi Angeleyess,

    I'm really glad to hear you and your husband back in oz. My husband is still in Nigeria waiting for his visa. Hoping he will be soon with me. I know you had been through unexpected things but the happiness will always be with us. True love will always be survived.

    Take care.

    Mandy
  • Hi Angeleyess,

    I have followed this topic for quite a time, I am a Nigerian women living in Australia, permit me to let out my opinion on some of your posts.
    Nigeria is a large country with both good and bad people. I honestly sympathize with you on the sad experiences you had in Nigeria during your visit but please do feel free to visit Nigeria any time, only that you have to be smarter the next time you visit. I am also glad you finally married the man of your dream.
    I have some points to make here, Nigeria is corrupt, that's indisputable but you made a lot of mistakes during your stay in Nigeria, I honestly do not see any reason why you presumed your husband was too poor to sponsor your marriage in his own country and he was around when money was extorted from you from different officers without any intervention by him?, If this is true then he started scamming you from there, he might have connived with those officers to defraud you with out you being aware of what was happening. Again, I do not know whether he took his time to counsel you like someone he loves, about Nigeria's condition while you were with him in the country.
    I honestly hope and pray the marriage turns out a lovely and lasting one. Nigeria has more good than bad people and please feel free to visit some Nigerian Forums like nairaland.com and get to know Nigerians better there and also ask questions if the need arises.
    For prospective Nigerian wives, please do your research well before going to marry your man and do not allow your self to be seen as a rich and desperate woman, allow the man to do his work.

    Jenkinababe
  • Hi Angeleyess,

    Please, do ask for divine direction for your marriage, same applies to prospective Nigerian Wives.

    Jenkinababe
  • I am married to a nigerian man and we met online. We have been talking for almost two years now. We were married 5 months ago. I have been to Nigeria twice now both times for two weeks. My husband sent me a phone to be able to contact him when i landed. Which i strongly recommend you do that and he made sure i had airtime to put on it. I really enjoyed my stay there and was well worth the trip. I have no regrets of making the trip to him and thankful that he is in my life.
  • Please i need help....I am one of those foolish woman from America that fell in love and still love my husband from Lagos Nigeria...but i have found out some things about him and i need to know how to get a divorce or an annulment from this marriage...I went to Nigeria the first time to meet him and it was my first time flying any where and i was never afraid...After staying there for over a week he asked me to marry him and i accepted....On October 11th 20012 we were married in Lagos Nigeria and i stayed with him until November 14th....but this time when i left him at the airport i did not feel like he really loved me or was going to miss me..i felt like he was glad to be rid of me....i cried the whole way home...but after i arrived home we con't to talk as much as we could till after Christmas...then the talks grew fewer and fewer...i seen how he has to live there and i loved him so i started sending him money and since i live on a fixed income borrowed money when i could to send him too...but now it has became too much and i cannot con't supporting two families and he is a lot younger than me and I need to let him go...He needs to marry someone his age and have a family...i was hoping i could give him a child but i cannot..cos we have tried....This is the hardest thing for me to do cos i do love him so much..but i need to get a divorce or an annulment to set him free...so how can i do that....any info or advise would be greatly appreciated....i cannot discuss this with him cos he will just talk me out of it like he has done before...and if he is using me for a green card it is going to take a long time cos of the money you need for all the applications and visas and passport.....and yes i know of the scams there and i know what he has done in the past and probably is still doing....but i will never turn him in cos of the way their government is there..it is all corrupt and when they have a job they do not get paid what they should get paid for the amount of work they do...and again i have seen this ....There is so many young ones there that the government should be helping and don't...there is a lot of talented and smart children there that could really make a difference in their country if they were given the proper education and funding.....i am just a stupid American Woman who needs to let her young husband free..so any advise will help...thank you....
  • i have red all of the comments on this page and they all are good advice, but what i want to no is how is the mens in benin city i have just met a man on fb and we have been chatting for 3 month he tells me he loves me and he want me to come and see him but i am afraid that he is not who he says he is i have seen pic of him and i have talk to his brother, but i would like some advice should i go there and meet him or just for get about him he seem like a nice guy hes in college, i really would like to meet him but if it is a scam then im out. =((
  • am really feeling real down now ,would have cried if I was still a kid.i am a Nigerian based in southafrica,i got a lady online she is from Australia,we hv been dating long time,i send her gifts once in every month,i hv neva asked her for money or complained,she wants me to come to Australia bt it wnt be dt easy as it could be for her to com here.i told her to com to southafrica so we could marry n she can go bak with the documents,i promised to pay her flight ticket...now I am scared cus if she read all dis stories about Nigerian I will loose her.pls my fellow Nigerians les stop dis scams pls:'(
  • Hi pals. i have read various comment about Nigerian scam n all that. you are right if you say that,however, there are many Nigerians who are just all you need to make a perfect relationship in life. I live in the uk and i met a lady from the US and it was all online stuff. our first meeting i had to send her money for the flight. its all about you knowing what you want and identifying ways of getting details about that you really want. However, My only advice is don't send money to anybody either Nigeria or not for the first time. if you are a lady, let the man do the money aspect. if your trip is $1000, tell him to pay 70%. if he goes with that, find more details about him and hope for the best. Good Luck.
  • Hi.  I'm from Canada.   I manage this single parents webpage.  Months ago, I watched a Dr. Phil show about scams coming out of Nigeria (that showed told lots about how these men and they work their lucrative business), Even after knowing all that I thought I knew about online romantic scams I fell into the trap of  a guy that found my page (women, specially single are vulnerable and the best targets).  The worst part is, I lost money.  But I am making it my mission to stop this scamming and fraud at least from him.  

    I had a gut instinct the second day he started talking to me.  But the christian heart blinded me. The relationship ended this past weekend (we online dated for almost two months).  Anyway, bu even if it hadn't fbeen for the money I sent and phone numbers that he gave me, I wouldn't have found out who the person behind the photos and scam was. This guy still has his profile on facebook. He's good looking alright.  But so nobody else falls into his trap I'll tell you about my story:   He goes by the name Lewis Brown. It says on his profile he is an  oil rig engineer (one of the classical tales eh Ladies).  It also says that he is from Los Angeles but  lives in Oakland, California, US.  He even has likes to his photos from women.  Anyway, I don't want to give out too many details because my investigation is still going on and I'm preparing the paperwork (records of emails, texts and facebook messages, and other documents we exchanged) to show my local police.  Everything I'm telling you here I found out myself.  When I found out who he was I told him I wante him to learn his lesson.  that I was going to go to the authorities. He got a bit scared, I guess.  He deleted his facebook page for a week only though.  Has deleted both of his email addresses I knew.  Actually in this story there are three guys that I know are involved for sure, and two  others whom I know were involved in a lesser way.  The third guy involved is Mark Alyson, and on his profile he is from Texas.  This Mark was made up (could be his real photo, but maybe not) in order to make me believe there was a hacker out there.  Anyway, the actual guy behind the photos of Lewis Brown is also a white guy, but like I said I don't want to  let out too much.  The other mastermind behind is a Nigerian, his name is Junaid Y. Olaide.  He confessed to being the one pretending to be Lewis Brown but also apologized and told me he was deeply in love.  Of  course after all the money I had lost, and all the lies and pretending I was disgusted and angry and refused to believe anymore. So ladies please pay attention. So you don't get scammed.  

    Look for these signs:  If a man, usually white, good looking, wants to be friends with you and within a week of having met tells you are the woman of his dreams WATCH OUT.  Not only that, if you spot broken English or shortened words such as talkin, as (has), am ( I am), etc.; talk about being a man of God or God fearing; makes you feel guilty because he feels insulted you are doubting him; asks you for your money because he is  in a grave need, (e.g. no money for hotel bills) even though he is an engineer or contract worker working in Nigeria (specially but could be another country); shows you documents with his name; call you his wife or fiance; wants to send you gifts; does't want you to tell your family because it's too soon to tell them; promises that he will repay you as soon his contract is over (or as soon as he goes back home or as soon as he gets his heck because there were not enough funds to pay all workers); is very polite and use sromantic words (even poems); sends you pictures of what he is doing (I found two of the ones he sent me were on the internet, they were of someone else of course); texts you from a cell phone (even though the area code seems it is from the U.S., pinger is a free calling and texting service that gives you a real US or Canadian number even though you may not be in these countries); and ESPECIALLY if he calls you and you hear an African accent (I work with immigrant families and I know how Nigerians sound like)  BE WARE.  These are all RED FLAGS.  

    Check them men/women out, ask lots of questions (personal questions). They may tell you their immediate family has died, wife, husband, kids, parents.  This Lewis said he was an orphan (actually I later found out that this Olaide was a true orphan).  Olaide has deleted his facebook profile but his language (typos and phrases) were the same Lewis Used.  I demanded my money back but of course I didn't get it.  Olaide's explanation was, I wasn't the one that collected the moneygram (one of two I sent).  The guy (who was supposed to be an engineer who fixed the machine that needed to be fixed in order to resume the construction of a gas plant) took the money I wired.  And another thing,  they also ask for money orders as they prefer cash as opposed to  bank transfers and wires because they don't want to give out personal information. Moneygram told me in Nigeria it is a REQUIREMENT for someone receiving a monegram to HAVE a bank account.  So if they are there working temporarily they shouldn't have a Nigerian bank account. These guys are professional criminals. They know how to falsify id and make up their own documents.  They even tell you are concerned for your safety, not to use your credit card because it is not safe to do those kinds of transactions.

    There are ways to find out who they are.  If you want to know how, here is my email address:  mntofwh@hotmail.com

    Take care and may God helps end this ever rising problem.  And yes, there are good people in every country, just as like there are good people in every religion and in every family.

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