Complaint to Virgin Atlantic
  • This is a genuine complaint letter sent to Virgin Atlantic!!!!

    Dear Mr Branson


    REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008


    I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.


    Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at the hands of your corporation.


    Look at this Richard. Just look at it:






    I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?


    You don't get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it's next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That's got to be the clue hasn't it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:





    I know it looks like a baaji but it's in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you'll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It's only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.


    Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.


    I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.


    Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:





    Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It's mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.


    Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.


    By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it's baffling presentation:





    It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn't want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.





    As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It's just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it's knees and begging for sustenance.


    Yours Sincererly...
  • I'm revolted!!! What worries me is if that's what's happening in the kitchen, who's to say what's going on in the cockpit?! Are there any airlines on that route (or any other European route) which offer a menu you can order chocolate, muffins, sandwiches etc. from and pay per item? These are often better; to ensure payment, goods have to be presentable and edible!
  • Thank you for the best laugh I've had in weeks. You poor thing!!
  • Hilarious commentary...well said.

    I travelled to Bombay with Virgin on 29th December 2008...and guess what?

    I think I received YOUR leftovers as my meal! My meal was an emigma; it resembled no food that I have ever seen, in all my 62 years.
    I asked the crew for something else and was told there WAS nothing else! That was it.(whatever it was).

    Come on Virgin, Kingfisher airlines beat you into a cocked hat - foodwise and service wise. Guess who I will be flying with next time I visit India?
  • I was on possibly the same flight. I certainly flew back from BOM-LHR that day. On both out and inward leg of my flight, the food was diabolical, although slightly less nauseating on the retun. I spent most of the outward flight suffering from raging runs after eating the only meal left, (a barely warm re-hashed veggie mess), which I had not ordered. I was told quite brusquely that there was 'nothing else).

    Hours to wait in check in queues, despite having checked in on line in both directions, rude, inefficient and overbearing staff, ground and air side and to cap it all, no seat back TV on the outbound leg, (no spare seats to move to either). What a shambles! To add insult to injury,Virgin completely ignored their own complaints procedure, this matter is still ongoing, with up to 3 month gaps in correspondence from VA. I did have 10000 air miles credited to my account as a goodwill gesture. Hooray! I don't even have or want an account. Next time Jet Airways, they beat VA hands down.
  • On March 7th '09 I traveled to Bombay on Delta Airlines. The food was delicious and beautifully presented. The seat made into a comfortable bed and the service was friendly and considerate of my needs...and oh yes, Mr Branson, while I am in India I drink Kingfisher beer. I will be returning on June 10th '09 and of course, it will be on Delta.
  • I love that post ~ Hillarious!!
  • Now Virgin do not serve Mumbai.....maybe it was the food preparation company they used in Mumbai that was too much of a liability???? just speculation - I have always had great food and service with Virgin from Delhi
  • I read that post a while back when it was doing the rounds........very entertaining and still v funny the second read.
  • Yes it does hold up! Very funny writing. I heard Richard Branson found it hilarious and called the guy personally to sort things out.
  • v funny but hey you get wat you pay for don't you? not in all case's as virgin knowsits gota good name so every now and then they can let slip just this once where delta have to be spot on evry time guess who i'm flying with.
  • At least the meal was free! Now days it seems you have to pay for everything on the flight. I tried to watch an episode of Seinfeld on the TV screen and it asked me to swipe my credit card!

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