Need help regarding romance with young Ghanian man
  • I need some major help. Have met a man from Ghana who, now admits, that he is a scammer. I fell in love with him and he claims that he is totally in love with me. He has now provided his true identity, and we want to meet. I am a professional white woman 70 years young. He tells me that he is 30 years old. He wants me to come to Ghana to meet him and wants us to stay together at a hotel in Accra. He said he also wants me to meet his family. I don't think that this sounds safe at all and told him so. It is very disappointing though as I REALLY do want to meet him as he has become the love of my life. I told him that he could come to the United States where I live, but that he would have to obtain his own visa and passport. I told him that I would reimburse him for that and plane fare when he arrived, but only with proper documentation. He explained that he is too poor to do this, and I believe it. My question is: would it be safe for me to go to Ghana all by myself and no one here really knowing where I am at - and being in a hotel room alone with my on-line lover during the duration of my stay which would be about a week. I know all this sounds too unreal - but I really need help and advise. My head is telling me one thing and my heart another. He lives in Achimota near Accra. Thank you!! I would be MOST greatful for advise.
  • Have some common sense! YES think with your head not your heart. First right off the bat given that this person has now told you that he is a scammer -- a thief is a better word for him you still are communicating with him. Hopefully you haven't sent any money but if you have please don't send him any more.

    Do not go to Ghana and above all if you go to travel insure someone close to you knows where and what you are doing and a planned way to get in touch with you.

    You say you are 70 years old which makes you 30 years older than this scammer - you should know better and should be teaching your family members that online dating is filled with scammers and to take caution. If you are going to online date look for someone in your area that can meet locally and quickly. If conversation turns to excuses why they can't meet you or are leaving for travel especially to Africa (in particular Ghana) stop communication with the person without explanation. They don't deserve your reasons and most likely they wont care they will go on to their next victim.

    As far as this scammer goes stop communication and do not explain why the more communication with them only educates them to scam more. Also think logically ---you cannot fall in love over a short bit of communication and some pictures --real relationships take a lot more than that.

    Hope that you will be safe.

  • Well said Hopingforanswers  =D>  

    Nixdorf you are being a foolish old woman. You are forty years older than this man , who you claim is the love of your life but you have never met him. You need to get a grip and wake up to reality. Sorry to be harsh but someone has to tell you.

    Hopingforanswers has given an excellent response full of good advice, take that advice before you end up losing your life savings or at the very worst dead in a ditch in Ghana.
  • Thanks Alethia.
    I was unsure if maybe I was being a bit harsh but I have good reasons.

    I used to be a member of the site www.romancescams.org and
    I still recommend those in this situation to seek out speaking to them I lost
    interest in the forum board though because a serious questions would be
    asked by someone needing help and then the responses would be turned to recipes
    and life stories which had nothing to do with what the person's topic was
    about...going through it I was frustrated.

    My boyfriend/Common-law partner (well he is now he wasn't back then he was just a
    friend) was going through all of this and had met a girl on a dating site and she
    went from USA to Ghana for a "trip" which wasn't the normal thing for
    them to do normally its some kind of work. But she was to return in 4
    months but instead of returning home she was to come to Canada (where we are).
    I even wished him luck as he went off to the airport to meet her but he
    returned home and I got a message late that night that she wasn't at the
    airport. He got an email a few days later telling him she was here but didn't
    meet up with him and somehow made her way to downtown Toronto taking pictures
    of herself around the city but never contacted him and returned to GHANA not
    FLORIDA where she was from and contacted him after this. Now stuck in Ghana
    again she came up with reasons she now needed money and air flight tickets
    again. As the five years this all unraveled in she was met with as many
    possibly reasons couldn't get on that plane which required him to send more
    money. The list of reasons are on one of my other postings. However several of
    the plane tickets planned were all booked on KLM Delta airlines---a company if
    I had the ability to go after I would in getting them to change their system.
    Every flight itinerary received had been FAKE.

    Well I come back in the picture and as I am the only one he had really told anyone about
    this girl I start investigating all the details and nothing added up. I even
    found one of her pictures that she had sent of her in a window in front of the
    CN Tower in Toronto on google pics…well it actually wasn’t her in the pic just
    the background but she had obviously been edited onto the pic! When around this
    time she had made another booking I contacted KLM with her name and flight
    time/number and even without any other information I was told that there was
    booking (probably from days earlier) but it wasn’t paid for and that it was
    cancelled out already. Later that day though he was still being told by the
    scammer that she was ready to get on that plane and would be there in the next
    few days. Of course as expected she didn’t arrive. It was around this time that
    I had been in contact with romancescams.org and began posting to ask questions
    though it wasn’t me that was being scammed I learned a lot about what romance
    scams are all about.

    It’s been almost a year now since the last communication/interaction with this scammer
    and he lost 1000’s of $’s to this scammer. He is lucky as he wasn’t alone through
    the final stages of all of this and we are very much together and happy.

    My point is through all of this I learned a lot not only from romancescams.org and other
    sites and personal experience (as a witness) to this I now am looking to help
    anyone that asks about these awful scammers.

    Scammers might be out for money and that’s is really all they care about but the truth
    is they take away more than money…they also take a toll on a person’s emotional
    state, they often leave the victim with heartache that is (in some cases) unrepairable,
    damaged relationships with the victim’s family and friends.

    Although I have somewhat severed my ties to romancscam.org I am still on this and other
    travel related websites that are met with people constantly asking if the
    person they are communicating with is real or a scammer and I sometimes just
    read what is being said and in other cases I do offer advice from what I have
    learned. I do encourage people that have been scammed or think they have been
    scammed to contact the peer counselors on romancescams.org or the Legal/fraud examiners
    from just answer for further advice because many of them have more experience
    in this area.

    Most importantly and the best advice there is …do not think you need to deal alone
    with what you are going through or feel embarrassed by this situation. Tell your
    friends and family and in doing so hopefully they will be supportive and
    comfort you and in turn you will offer them education on these scammers so it
    will not continue to happen to others.

    Which is all I am really suggesting at this time to Nixdorf and the others going through this...the fight with KLM will wait for now.
  • A Big no for you. Do not go behind a scammer. Look at your age difference and do not sent him any money he is behind only your money.
  • Very interesting post hopingforanswers, Even on this forum I am surprised how many people are taken in by scammers. I do hope Nixdorf reads what we have written and common sense prevails.
  • A big thanks to each of you who have written for your thoughtful and detailed responses! My head, thank goodness, is out of the sand now - thanks to each of you!! I am back to reality - and cut him off without any explanation just as was suggested. Luckily I had not sent him any money or anything else for that matter. Well, I don't feel so bad - I just read recently where a world renowned physicist got caught in a romance scam also. They sure know how to grab hold of a person.

    Hopingforanswers - you deserve a special thank you for stepping in to help me and sharing everything that you did!! It is greatly appreciated!!

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