Traveling to Djerba in May - Question about staying within a resort with Tunisian fiance
  • I have asked about another topic here previously. In that forum discussion we touched bases on Travel to the U.S. or to Tunisia to visit my fiance. I was told that staying within a hotel is not allowed (As i am an American citizen and he is a Tunisian citizen), But i'm wondering if I were to stay at a large resort what the probability would be for being questioned about married status. I am planning on visiting in May & would like to stay @ The Radisson Blu palace resort &Thalasso in Djerba. Which is a huge touristic hotel with over 300 rooms.Honestly, do you think we would be "Hassled" and questioned about our marital status?? If we were to say we were married do you think it would be a major ordeal and problem in that area. My passport will not have have his last name, but many people keep there sur names after marriage (or family name) I think even Tunisian women do that. I looked into the website you suggested previously to rent private residence, but honestly the resorts are much nicer and with my travel agents I can secure better deals. Also with a large chain like "radisson" I will feel more secure in booking and knowing when I arrive that I definitely will have a room,transportation from the airport,etc..I'm confused..I know this is a law (sort of behind in the times in my opinion) But is it really enforced are the authorities going to come into a resort area and arrest my fiance?? 
  • WHAT IF I BOOK "2" ROOMS....But we only end up using 1???
  • Buy a couple of cheap, fake wedding rings and just say you're married. You are more likely to be questioned since he's a local, but I doubt anyone would demand proof beyond that.
  • Tiffany, as I understand it you would not be allowed to share a room with your Tunisian fiance even in the big resorts; but, that doesn't mean you won't get away with lying about it. They care nothing about foreigners being unmarried - it is only because he's a local that you may have trouble. It is a bit of a risk, but I agree that as a women arriving in Tunisia alone it is far more secure for you to have booked at a reputable resort. Just know that there is a slight possibility of encountering resistance.
  • Thank you for your imput/suggestions.We already have rings.I sent him his ring almost a year ago.I slipped it into a package on the arm of a stuffed animal i sent to his daughter,customs either missed it or paid it NO mind because it really isn't of any value other than sentimental to us. It's not gold...just a simple chrome and black wedding band containing an inscription on the inside.My engagement ring is in his possession and I will have it when I arrive there. (since there are laws that prohibit sending jewelry in the mail he hasn't sent it because my engagement ring is gold and more valuable. I also am looking on the web there are actual IT techs that produce realistic looking documents...that appear to be genuine but that are not registered. They can make a marriage document that looks authentic we could possibly produce. I will arrive in Tunis (@ carthage airport) and we will be flying together to djerba) He also speaks fluent english so that might help a little....I was just learly to book a private residence because there may be people there listing that are money scams @ least if i book w/ radisson, i know i am dealing with a corporation.
  • Tiffany I hate to rain on your parade but all Tunisians have ID cards and it shows your boyfriends marital status this will be required at check in at the hotel.

    I am really surprised that Anya and Ella encouraged you to lie as this is a serious matter. I am also surprised that your boyfriend is going along with this as he stands to be arrested. Since the revolution and the rise of the Islamists life is stricter in Tunisia. All hotels and resorts have security guards at the entrances not even taxi;s are allowed inside the resort to drop people off. Local Tunisians are not allowed as visitors in some hotels.

    Yes your safety is important but you should respect the Tunisian culture. You come across as a know it all American who thinks money is everything and you are willing to lie and cheat to get what you want.

    Whats your boy friend got to say about this? Can't he find somewhere you can safely stay.? 


  • "You come across as a know it all American who thinks money is everything and you are willing to lie and cheat to get what you want." 

    I would like to say your remark was a little insulting, especially when you are directing it towards someone whom is a stranger and you know nothing about them. My only intention is to see my fiance and I am not disrespecting anyones culture.I am sorry that the islamists are closed minded and would like to make it difficult for Tunisians to Love anyone other than Tunisian/Muslim women.But the reality is there is a whole wide world out there beyond there country and sometimes people meet and would like to spend time together. Actually his marital status on his I.D. states he is married, but it isn't to me....So you can proceed further with your judgements there also if you would like. As for his view on the matter, he is cautious and knows the laws there.I called the coorporate office at the Raddison and the hotel directly who said there should not be an issue if i book 2 rooms; which is also an option.
  • My remark was not meant to be insulting it was a statement about how you come across. It is not a judgement
    Over the years I have seen countless women desperate to be with, Ali, Ahmed, Ramy Fateh etc Many I have assisted to bring their husbands to the UK.
    I suggest you read this taken from the US Embassy in Tunisia http://tunisia.usembassy.gov/marriage-tunisia.html

    Many marriages between Tunisians and Americans are successful. However, individuals who enter into a relationship for the principal purpose of immigration to the United States are violating U.S. law and could face serious penalties, including fines and imprisonment.
    In the Embassy's experience, it is not uncommon for Tunisians to seek relationships with Americans solely for immigration purposes. Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are particularly susceptible to manipulation. The U.S. government urges Americans who meet Tunisians on the Internet or while touring the country, to take the time necessary to get to know them before considering marriage. Unfortunately, the Embassy has seen cases of abuse against American spouses, or marriages that end in divorce when the Tunisian acquires a green card or citizenship in the United States. These cases invariably occur when the relationship is based mostly on Internet communication and very little face-to-face interaction

    Periodically, the Embassy is contacted when an American has met a Tunisian online, and while visiting their contact in Tunisia, found themselves in financial or otherwise difficult situations. If you are concerned about a family member or friend who is visiting someone he or she met online, you can contact the American Citizens Services Unit at (216) 71-107-000 or email consulartunis@state.gov.

    and this from the British government. sexual relations outside marriage are also punishable by law.
  • Ok I understand maybe you did not mean to be insulting,but you followed up your comment w/ a blanket statement about seeing desperate women,etc....One could take that as a "generalization" and grouping someone into that same population of women could be received as profiling.
     Maybe there exists real people who meet and would like to make contact and spend time together other than on the skype,or telephone...but places like Tunisia make it difficult by expecting everyone to hide in the shadows to do so. I met my fiance over 5 years ago...we were friends then, we became more involved in getting to know each other over the past 2.5 years.I know him, whether we talk face to face or in skype "I KNOW HIM" his mannerism and his reactions can be seen when we speak, and his actions speak louder than his words.I don't have a fiance that asks me for anything & I am not "RICH" and don't have a lot of money.We have been saving money "TOGETHER" for nearly a year so that I can come see him.Because obtaining a visa is next to impossible from there. AND yes...I am sure there are many who want to marry to change there resident status...But I don't see that being the case with myself and my partner.Besides...if he wants to come to america and leave me...Thats his business.I won't be broken up about it..I can assure you there are no shortage of men here, and i have no problem finding them to date. Men are pretty much all the same here and abroad. I think Tunisia should just shut off the internet connection to people...seems like they control everything else, easy fix to the problem...which i think probably happens more often within European countries than with Americans. Thank you for your help, but I suppose i'll figure this out between myself and fiance...it seems like every time I ask a question (the reply is always skeptical) and moves toward "bezness" and be careful about being taken advantage of,etc. I'll let him figure out where we can stay from Tunisia and I hope one day i can sit in our house and be "POOR" in America too and not have to worry about police coming to arrest us or break our door down here. 
  • Maybe I should explain a little more. I am an immigration and human rights lawyer in the UK ( British and EU law ) so everyday I see men and women who want to bring their spouse or fiance to the UK, so its not a generalisation its a fact.

    Consequently I am aware of every scam going and have heard so many stories and believe it or not similar rants to your last post. By the way European countries don't close the internet http://europa.eu/about-eu/countries/index_en.htm.

    The only thing I am curious about is why you fiance is still married , he may not live with his wife but he is still married.and divorce in Tunisia is quite common.

    Tiffany I wish you well, I hope you have a lovely holiday and a rosy future
  • He is not married now.Thank you.take care
  • When a Tunisian divorces they are required by Tunisian law to change their status on their ID card immediately . Yet you now say your fiance is not married whereas in your post of January 10 you said.

    "Actually his marital status on his I.D. states he is married, but it isn't to me"..........

    So not only would you and your boyfriend lie at a hotel/ resort that you were married but he will show an ID card that has the wrong information. Do you think that there is no way of checking this information.? Tunisians are stopped in the street and asked for ID cards all the time and can be arrested for not carrying their card or incorrect information.

    I dont think you have ever met this man in person before ( only on the net) and you certainly know very little about Tunisia.. Good luck you are going to need it.

  • I have seen his identification card and his fathers (he showed it to me this morning)...his was issued prior to his marriage in 1999 the front states: FRONT 
    his name
     family name
    where he was born
    his date of birth 

    ON REVERSE:

    his moms name
    his work
    address where he lives

    He lives in mornaguia/ manouba and he says he has been stopped a million times and hasn't had his I.D. they ask his name, moms name, and family name and he has never been taken to jail for it.

    AND you are correct I have never met him in person...I met him 5 years ago online and we have been friends since and now I am going to see him.He is not married now.You don't need to reply it's ok, I trust him i have seen everything about his paperwork.....it isn't important that you are suspicious...Goodbye
  • ....I think you are a little too swayed in the direction that everyone is out to get over on people and gain citizenship and leave Tunisia because you work closely with people who come in contact with rats all the time. I'm not an old fat wealthy desperate lady who has a 20 yr old tunisian boyfriend...we are of the same age,social class, and mind-set. and as previously stated...if he would like to gain citizenship here and leave me....nice for him, there are many who will be ready to date me.
  • I am a professional and have been working as a lawyer far to long to be "swayed" . One post your friend is married now he's not . Even though you have spoken with this man on line for sometime. You really know nothing about him. 

    Women are groomed for years by men from poor countries. until the men get what they want. I suggest you check out Tunisia.com  and you will see its not just desperate old women who are used and abused.

    Your arrogance makes it impossible to advise you or to enter into any kind of meaningful dialogue.

    I won't respond to you again and leave you in the hope that your "relationship" and trip don't blow up in your face.

  • ok mrs Alethia.....can i talk to you in french
    i'm the tunisian husband
  • french,arabic,english whatever...ask him what you like there he is
  • ok come on answer me mrs the lawer
  • if you think i wanna go there ?.... isnot the fuckin paradise....i have family & good job maybe better then yours
  • Please tell me how to delete my profile from this site...it will not allow me to cancel anywhere in the settings
  • Hi Tiffany,

    If you look under 'Edit Preferences' ion your profile page, you can untick all the boxes regarding notifications and you won't receive any more emails from the site.

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